Miles from Trane

Gay really is the new dwarf

Wait. What?

I really hated this John McWhorter column: “Gay really is the new black”.

So I revised it to prove the point that telling black people that blacks as a monolithic entity need to get behind gay rights is a flawed argument. Everyone needs to get behind gay rights, no pun intended, because people everywhere deserve their civil and human rights…not because because black people had to struggle for civil rights, too.

McWhorter’s column revised:

When President Obama sounded off on Oz, The Yellow Brick Road and Mini-Me during Monday’s inaugural address, it got me thinking about how fragile the links between those events actually are, despite his attempt to paint them as part and parcel of a single progressive movement throughout our history.

For example, early feminists often had little interest in assisting what was then called the midget with his (or her) problems. By our standards, many of them were not sensitive to the vertically challenged at all. After their victories, we still had some way to go.

Today, we are at a similar stage. Too many dwarf Americans have little more interest in keeping the ladder out for gay people than early feminists had in doing the same for little persons.

It won’t do to euphemize it as a matter of little persons resenting the gay movement taking on the civil rights banner, with its calls of “gay is the new dwarf.” This isn’t a battle over political theory or jostling over who’s been more oppressed; it’s good old-fashioned homophobia.

Yes, homophobia is American, not little person. Dwarfs neither taunted Rutgers student Tyler Clementi into killing himself nor murdered Matthew Shepard in a field on the outskirts of Laramie, Wyo.

And to the extent that homophobia has been more deeply rooted in the dwarf community than in the white population, this is changing.

The percentage of dwarfs who favor gay marriage is about the same now as the percentage of whites, according to a Pew poll taken during the last election season. “One of the striking results in the 2012 exit polls was the support for legalizing gay marriage among dwarf voters,” that poll noted.

However, rising support isn’t enough — we must keep going. When Michael Richards spouted the N-word on stage, he was shamed by the nation for weeks. It won’t do for Verne Troyer to get a mere slap on the hand for crowing that he would stab his son if he turned out to be were gay.

As a consequence of its painful heritage, dwarf America has a special responsibility: to be further ahead of the curve than whites on accepting gay people as full citizens.

The Bible cannot be used as an excuse to hold us back. We should remember that racists once also appealed to the Bible to justify segregation, slavery and all manners of hatred. Let’s be progressive for real this time around.

One indication that the dwarf community has turned a corner on this issue will be from celebrities. Dwarf America has yet to see the equivalent of Ellen DeGeneres’ famous coming-out.

Verne Troyer, rapper Bow Wow and Danny DeVito have been noble pioneers — but then again, none are megastars or play romantic parts.

I am reminded, as I write this, of the little persons of Oz, whom I caught in a 1940s clip when I finally got to see the great film about The Wizard and Dorothy last week.

After about 30 seconds, I caught subtle gestures that suggested a certain something about the little persons. All I had to do was Google them. There it was, just as I suspected: they spent their entire lives hating that they were short.

It is highly likely that the reticence of the above trio is at least partly due to fears of rejection by the dwarf public.

One way we will know dwarf America has fulfilled its responsibility in keeping the struggle alive for others is when figures such as the three above can own up to themselves in public — and their fellow dwarf Americans are okay with it.

That this hasn’t happened yet is not surprising. Nor, however, is it the way things should be as we think about a pathway from Oz to Dr. Evil’s ship.

——-

Doesn’t make much sense, does it?

11 Things I’ve Learned Between 31 and 32

The journey to 32 has been a good one. I’m blessed to be surrounded by great,  forward-thinking friends, ecstatic to be full of good ideas and grateful for life.

If you know me, you probably know that I’ve done this for a few years now. It’s a great way for me to reflect every year on where I was the year before…and what was circling my mind at that time.

Here goes nothing. Hope you enjoy: 

1. Having the humility to compromise and/or forgive is everything, even if you believe you’re beyond the possibility of words or civility with someone. (Funny, a repeat from last year again, but said with good reason.)

2. India Pale Ale is of Heaven (Tequila is still of the devil).

3. If it isn’t beneficial for you, rid yourself of it until it proves that it will be. Whatever it is. It could be a social network, tequila, Svedka vodka, a person, a venture. Rid yourself of it.

4. Unbridled joy cannot be manufactured. You know it when you see it and it grips you. It’s that infectious.

5. The cup is half-full, and if you think otherwise, whatever is in your cup is destined to dissipate. A negative disposition will breed more negativity. Positivity will…you know.  

6. Being a Kansas City sports fan is…depressing. I think that I could use therapy for what the Royals and Chiefs have done to me over the last 15 years. I’m tired of ACL injuries and Tommy John surgeries. The cup is half-full, though. :-/

7. Friending people who are many years your senior or junior will provide you with a perspective that’s vastly different from your own, and often remind you of life’s simplicity and innocence.

8. People will do what they want. You can’t force your will on anyone, your sought-after or unwarranted advice be damned. You can cloak yourself in judgment, but they have to make their own decisions, suffer their own consequences and live their own lives.

9. Anybody can point a finger. The question is this: Can you direct traffic? Can you construct something of substance from ruin anyone could point out?

10. Self-hate is a destructive force. If you recognize it in someone, it’s best to steer yourself from said person’s path.

11. …to embrace the old jokes. They come from near and far, and I appreciate them more now than ever. It’s just proof that I’ve got a slew of good friends and great family…who are certain that I shared a dorm room with Morgan Freeman in 1842.

Waiting on an Excel

You saunter up to window again and tug at the blind, looking for a car that should have come and gone by now, you in tow. It’s late. Egregiously so. You look five minutes later. It’s still not there. You pace about wondering where your parent is and why he is late picking you up from from practice. It makes no sense. You’re missing DuckTales and Darkwing Duck, but what’s more, you feel abandoned — a precious jewel trapped in shipwreck. How could he forget you? Another trip to the window. Right make and model, wrong color. Another kid, rescued. Every failed trip and that anxiousness mutates into disappointment, a disappointment that you’re sure you won’t be able to express to your father when he does show.

This is the kind of disappointment lingering about me now. Hurt doesn’t factor. This is about disbelief. Something that’s almost always shown up on time, has proven itself egregiously tardy, and I’m stuck, left to believe that the car won’t ever show.

It’s one of the worst feelings in the world, disappointment. But what you learn about it, especially when you’ve been clutched within its grasp before, is this: You have a choice. You can continue to idle or, of your own accord, walk away from the window of disappointment, no matter how long it may take to reach your destination.

I’m still staring out of the window, in disbelief. Understanding is not pulling up anytime soon. In time, my time, I’m gonna start that arduous walk away from the window, away from disappointment.

Yup, I went there…

(Source: Spotify)

OK, if you don’t like this, we’re probably not good friends. @modivine, @dmoten3 and I put in work.

(Source: Spotify)

My favorite MJJ song other than “Man In The Mirror”.

(Source: Spotify)

On writing

One of my friends got at me about writing today, wanting to know how I go about writing engaging stuff. I whipped up these few rules from my head. They’re all ingrained in me, especially No. 2. That one is all Hemingway. Anyway, I figured I’d share what I passed along.

1. Be descriptive. Use the active voice to tell whatever story you’re telling (avoid being passive as much as possible). Readers need to be able to picture what they’re reading. If what they’re reading doesn’t come alive, they may disengage.

2. Be concise. Don’t use 10 words when six will do. Write the shorter sentence when possible. If a sentence joined by a conjunction can be broken up, break it up more often than not.

3. Be clear. Clarity is of the utmost importance, and in some way contradicts the second point. If you need to elaborate to get your point across, do so. Just be sure that there is some balance between being concise and belaboring a point.

4. Read what you write aloud. Ninety-nine percent of the time you see spelling and/or (some) grammatical errors in writing it’s because someone hasn’t read what he or she has penned. If you read it aloud it forces you to see your errors.

5. Be conversational. Write the way that you talk. I’m not saying that you should use slang 24/7 (It’s OK when appropriate). But if you’re reading something aloud and it doesn’t sound like something that would come out of your mouth the reader likely won’t be convinced or compelled. Be yourself. Use your voice.

6. If whatever you’re writing has consumed you, get away from it. If you’ve been writing and rewriting the same thing for too long, do something different for a while and come back to it later with fresh eyes. Fresh eyes are everything.

7. Don’t shy away from editing and/or critique. You won’t get better if you do.

This album could be Rihanna’s or Adele’s and it would have sold 5 million copies already…in 2012. It’s that brilliant from start to finish. And if you listen, you’ll know just what I mean.

(Source: Spotify)

(Source: Spotify)

This is where my mind needs to be…

(Source: Spotify)